trumpPresident Donald and First Lady Melania Trump have been living in their Midtown Manhattan penthouse since his inauguration.  Melania Trump is the second foreign-born (Slovenian) first lady.  The Trumps have no plans to move into the White House until it is completely remodeled to their specifications. Shortly after his election, Trump announced he would be sending Congress a $3 trillion bill for refurbishing.  His first wife Ivana Zelnickova Winklmayr, a designer, is supervising the renovation.

Trump announced that he has kept his promise to build the border fence between the U.S. and Mexico. Mexico says it cannot raise more than five million pesos to pay for the 24-feet high, razor-wired fence, but it is willing to make up the difference with drugs.  Trump said the immigration problem, with one exception, is solved.  He plans to deport former President Obama to Kenya or Indonesia, “Wherever,” as Trump says, “he was born.”

In his first year, President Trump nullified existing laws against nepotism.  He appointed Ivanka, his daughter, Secretary of State and his son, Donald Jr., as Secretary of Defense. Having no one else in his family to fill cabinet posts, the president abolished the Departments of Education, H.U.D., Health and Human Services, and Energy (a post Sarah Palin requested) and said he could not remember the others. Second wife Marla Maples will represent the United States at the United Nations.

When the president said he would be appointing no women to his cabinet or the Supreme Court, a reporter reminded him that he had already appointed his daughter.  Trump replied, “That’s different!” and refused further comment.  He demanded that the stupid, rude reporter be removed from the Trump Tower lobby. Later, he apologized.

Closing out the 220th news conference in his first year, Trump said, “Women reporters with blood coming out of [their] eyes or wherever will no longer have access to the press room.”  Asked how he could enforce such a ruling, he said, “The press room is in my Trump Tower lobby, and I have the authority…a mandate to do as I please!”

A hoooge surprise came when the president proclaimed he was, by executive order, abolishing Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and all money going to NPR and Planned Parenthood.  “These funds will pay off our debts to the Chinese,” he said.  Asked how people could subsist without these entitlements, Trump snapped, “Look!  I’ve been bankrupt a few times in my life.  I know what it’s like to be broke.  Hey, I’ll give them all jobs, like I promised.”

An anonymous source leaked what the president planned to do about ISIS.  Trump has said, “I know their leaders personally, and they love me.  They love me.  I’m meeting with them at Camp Donald…high level talks–while they’re here, I’m sending troops over there to take their oil.  They’ll go home flat broke.  That’ll take care of ISIS!” “Look,” the president told the high-level source, “I talk to Vladimir [Putin] almost every day about this Far Eastern stuff, but he doesn’t have a clue!”

[This article originally appeared in the Huntington, WV Herald-Dispatch, September 18, 2015,  under the title “Here’s How Trump Might Make American Great Again”  Picture of Donald Trump courtesy of Google.com collection of pictures of Donald Trump.]
[Milt Hankins is a theologian, former pastor and local author. His website is columnistwithaview.com Readers can also go to lmhankins.com to learn more about Hankins.]