I’ve been thinking about applying for a job at the White House. Seriously! As I understand it, many positions–from chief departmental personnel to ambassadorships–are available. The most noticeable, of course, is (still pending) Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. 

What do I know about hiring at the highest level? Not much. But, it does seem to me that highly qualified persons would be standing in line for some of these jobs. There’s always the danger, however, if one makes a mistake of hearing those horrible words “You’re Fired!”

QUEEN ELIZABETH II

Let me see. I’ve traveled extensively. I met the president of Argentina once. He’s long gone! I saw the Queen of England in Hawaii while serving in the U.S. Air Force. She’s eternal! I’ve had brief conversations with several presidents of the United States from John F. Kennedy to Richard Nixon to Jimmy Carter.

I have education, administrative experience, years of writing and public speaking experience. I’d be perfect. I even have a passport!

But I wouldn’t stand a chance. One look at my social media accounts, my columns and my webzine and I’ll be dead in the water. I’m an avowed liberal!

Looking over the cabinet positions already filled, I realize I don’t have any money in any large, New York financial institution; I’m not head of a major corporation; I wasn’t a major campaign contributor (to Trump’s campaign); I’m not a congressman or a senator; I believe in climate change and know something about the dangers of polluting our air and water (my father and grandfather were coal miners); I taught school at several levels, so I do know something about education.

         CLIMATE CHANGE

Then, of course, I believe Planned Parenthood is extremely valuable for the women and children of this country. I support National Public Radio, and I believe we must never do anything to endanger the future of our children. And, definitely, I believe every single person in this country has a right to health care–universal, free health care. I wouldn’t turn anybody away from an emergency room or urgent care facility, even if they were illegal immigrants!

So, I guess President Trump will just have to keep looking for “qualified” people to fill all of those federal jobs.

I’ve got it! I think I have a solution! The president needs to take a look at the incredible number of conservative, right-wing columnists, the talking heads at FOX News and read the columns and Letters to the Editor in the major newspapers like the Washington Post, the New York Times, the Boston Globe, and the San Francisco Chronicle. They seem to have all the answers!

If the president can’t tear himself away from Twitter, the National Enquirer, Breitbart and their ilk long enough to search for some good help; perhaps, he can dispatch his son-in-law Jared Kushner to take on the job.

JARED KUSHNER

Kusher already has the largest portfolio in the Trump administration. What’s one more responsibility?

During his campaign, Donald Trump repeated “Jobs! Jobs! Jobs!” ad nauseum. He promised better health care, tax relief and infrastructure improvement. Maybe, if he hired some qualified staff people and turned to professionals who know what they’re doing, he could fulfill some of those campaign promises.

If the president would just allow one or two people to tell him the truth about himself and show him how to run the Oval Office, he’d be well on his way.

He could start by firing Sean Spicer!

[Milt Hankins is the publisher and editor of Columnist with a View. His weekly column appears in the Huntington, WV Herald-Dispatch every Monday morning. He has written and published two books, Ashes on the Snow and A Sensible Theology for Thinking People. Both are available through Amazon.com and/or your local bookstore. He is currently working on his third book which is a study of the book of Genesis.]